Change Me As We Go

Archive for the month “June, 2011”

Work in progress – "Should’ve Known Better"

In the singers playground workshop today, Micah talked about us artists being very childish sometimes about our wants and need, and the fact that we blame the wrong people for us being stuck. While my problem is quite different, I was reflecting about that and this came up. PS: PLZ leave some comments, I’d love some honest feedback/ suggestions

Should’ve Known Better (work in progress, recording 5) by sherrylynnlee

[verse 1]

Oh I know, I should’ve tried harder I know, sometimes Am
I act like a child when I’m bitter G
Oh I know, I could’ve done better I know, my mind Am
Is the one that has been, holding back G

[prechorus 1]
I tried to change everything around me to fit me Am G F
Yeah I tried to change everyone around me except me.. Am G F


Should’ve known better Am G
Should’ve tried harder on at things that matter Am G F
Didn’t know better Am G
Than to try to change and blame everything Am G F
Around me, except me, almost lost it all F G Am G F
Should’ve known better E

[verse 2]
I burned, many chances
Holding on to my fears like treasure
I’ve learned, through the dances
That I To let go of pride to find pleasure

[prechorus 2]
Now I’m trying to change everything so I see, why I’m stalling
And I’m trying to change so I see, everything you are

Stage lethargy

Theres a talent show coming up at work. Normally I’d sign up asap. However i dont really feel like it this time. I kinda wanna play but no idea what. Kinda lost the enthusiasm. Gotta decide by lunchtime. Suggestion?


As i re read my blog yesterday i wondered why i wrote all about the surgery. There was no definite answer. I did it so that people can know what to expect of surgery? To show that if i can get through it then so can they? To help me remember the details when i look back in a few years? To remind me that i’m lucky and surrounded by a strong and caring support system? I suppose its a bit of everything.

If you’ve seen me since march you will know that i walk around shamelessly with my scar. My family thinks i should hide it.  But i’m not embarrassed by it as i thought i would be. I wanna show people that it’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Sure its not pretty. But if i cant accept it for myself then how can i expect others to do so? I think i can even be proud of it.  It’s part of me now. And i wont hide it.

I’m glad this adventure happened when it did. Timing could hardly have been any better. Of course its never a good time to be sick and under the knife but there are certainly worse times it could have happened at. Everything sort of came together after that. I have a new place, i got to meet family i’ve never even heard of before, i didnt lose on tuition fees, and made new friends along the way. Could it be any better?

Looking back – Surgery Adventure Part 8

It’s been almost three months. Today, I met with my surgeon for the first time since the operation. He said I looked very healthy. When I asked why it happened, he said it just does. With a septal defect, sooner or later, it just gets bigger and requires surgery. Just a matter of when it’s gonna happen. So NOPE, the late nights are not at fault.

After that I went to pay a visit to the nurses in the cardiac unit on the 4th floor where I stayed post-surgery. They weren’t sure of my name but they sure remembered me. One of them said “Oh yea, I remember you, you were in room 114!”. Woah, good memory. Dr Degen also dropped by and was delighted to see me out and about. Brenda gave me a big hug.

Next we went to the CICU where I got to see Kim again. She said they don’t usually get to see the results of their work. It’s pretty rare for patients to go back and see them so she was really happy to see me. She forgot my name but remembered I’m from Mauritius. She helped me find Dr Thomas by paging him. He was also very glad to see me. It seems like I was quite the memorable patient for nurses and doctors alike. Maybe I am weird 🙂

Anyway, it was really cool to see everyone again while feeling 10 000 times better. It was amazing to see how happy they were to see a patient come back and thank them for their hard work. They truly deserve all the gratitude in the world, especially the nurses who were there 24/7. It’s good to be back to normal life, but this sure was an interesting adventure. My mom disagrees fully. But she’s my mom, she’ll never agree that having surgery at 23 is cool.

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