Change Me As We Go

Archive for the month “June, 2012”

Graves’ Disease & Hyperthyroidism

I was going to write a detailed post about Graves’ disease and hyperthyroidism, but due to my lowered energy I will just say this.

I lost 9 lbs in 3 weeks despite an increased appetite. Doesn’t seem such a bad disease if I can fit in my clothes again! 😀

If you want more information check out this link

Why You Need To Regret


I’ve been playing with this post idea for almost half a year now, just haven’t gotten to finalize my thoughts.
Stay tuned or regret it! 😛

The AHA Moment

I just had an AHA moment reading a post I wrote yesterday. I remembered the order in which I wrote parts of it, and I it occurred to me that I did it for many other posts too. AND I JUST FIGURED OUT WHY!!!

Last week, I mentioned to someone that I’m sometimes impatient when it comes to meetings. I just want to know the conclusion. It’s almost as if nothing makes any sense unless and until there is a conclusion.

I realized that this way of thinking emerges not just during meetings, but also while writing. Strange but true. I tend to write the first paragraph about my main point. Most of it usually ends up somewhere in the conclusion. I always rearrange sentences and paragraphs, and it ALWAYS sounds better after the rearrangement.

PS: that last sentence was initially in the introduction 😉

Remembering Sonia

According to her parents, I was one of the very few people she was allowed to have sleepovers with. Unknown to us, this was our last sleepover ever. We talked about music, boys, and other things girls talked about to catch up. She told me how things were unfolding with her health, and then she asked me:

“And you? How are things?”

“Things are good,” I said.

” And healthwise?” she insisted.

The question struck me. Since I got sick last year, I’ve been thinking about this conversation over and over. I can’t imagine how she felt about the pain, the risks, the dependency, the fact that life was not going to be as long as it should… No wonder she was so mature.

When we were 15, she didn’t need any aid to walk. We even went clubbing a few times. She seemed to be in control. Then one day, things changed. She got really sick, even fell into a coma, and it was never fully the same again. Yet she fought. She aced her fashion design courses, painted a mural for her school, released her comic book, had many many friends and a great relationship. NOTHING would prevent Sonia Chan Tin from living life to its fullest. She was even going to make my album artwork. I’ll attach the drafts tomorrow (I don’t have my hard drive).

When we were around 21, I wasn’t afraid to walk from College to Lawrence. I even went clubbing a few times. My cardiologist said I could now do anything like a normal person. Then one day, things changed. My heart was failing, I couldn’t breathe and I fainted. I had an open-heart surgery. It was never fully the same again. I’m not sure I fought nearly as much as she did, but I put on a decent fight. I still can’t run for more than 2 min, I need more rest than I ever used to. But that’s nothing in comparison… When we were 21, she left.
I used to barely have to think about my health, except when I have infections. Her story was different. Sometimes the veins would burst, sometimes her legs would hurt. It could be anytime, anywhere. No plan was final until the day of, I think. Everything depended on how she felt that day. During that conversation, it really hit me: I was very lucky. I admired her for not letting her condition dictate her abilities. She was an artist, she had published a book (and sold all of them), she’d bring handmade gifts whenever she’d come over, she was pretty much adored by everyone.

I’ve been thinking about this conversation. Health really is everything. How long will I have it for? How fast will it go away?

I keep thinking about this conversation. Over and over.

Dr. House & Result Oriented Communication

You must have watched at least one episode of Dr. House. My favourite character of all times, even more than Sherlock Holmes. He intrigues me and has caused me to reflect upon communication skills and its relation to ability, and to the truth. Personally, I value honesty, even if it’s painful to hear. Yet, so few people are willing to give you that feedback. Probably for fear of things escalating. And probably with reason.

I’ve enjoyed a few communications courses during my time at the University of Toronto and I did very well in all of them. However, I still find that sometimes, things go wrong and, as much as you try, some people are just gonna lose it. Sometimes it’s them being jerks, but probably very often, it’s me not communicating properly, not getting my message across, or not delivering the message I should be or the one they want. Should I be telling them exactly what they want to hear? As much as I enjoyed all these courses, I still find myself cornered sometimes.

These courses tend to give people a positive attitude and a sense of empowerment, which feels great at first. But it’s not enough for me. Sure I feel I’ve learned a lot about dealing with conflict resolution et al. in theory, but context is often lacking. I need the course to throw outraging situations at me, to catch me off-guard, to hit me on the soft spots, and to force me to improve to the point of communicating effectively even when my blood is boiling with rage. I should leave class every time drained of all energy, just like coming home from a good workout. Some courses tried a few exercises like this, but I just wish there was a full course of just that.

Life is not fair, people aren’t either, and we should learn to accept it and deal with it gracefully. I think I do try but I have room for improvement still. I’m still trying to figure out why people haven’t yet accepted that ego and feeling good about themselves is not always the best thing. I wish I lived in a world where Dr. Houses existed. I’m going to miss you House.

A few things you learn from House.
– Everybody lies.
– People do everything to feel good about themselves, to be validated. Often involves some sacrifice.
– Being right and a jerk is better than being nice and wrong. Love Simon Cowell.
– Your eyes turn yellow if your liver fails

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