Change Me As We Go

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Archive for the category “human”

Why You Need To Regret

It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve had the idea for this post but never had the energy to write it. “Live Life With No Regrets” is one of the most unrealistic mantras that Western culture has popularized. I personally think regret is crucial to advancement.

Regrets are the difference between what you did, and what you should have done. I think regret helps us focus on immediate areas of improvement. As long as regret lasts, it contributes to our thought process and our decisions. I think regrets motivate us to become a better version of ourselves, because they remind us that a better outcome could have been possible had we done the right thing. If you’re not thinking about what you wish you did differently, how you could have prevented having this regret in the first place, then you’re not regretting.

So… If you don’t regret wasting your time, how can you become efficient?
If you don’t regret causing someone to break down, who says you won’t do it again?
I’m not talking about momentary regret where you just kind of feel bad/guilty but then forget about it by checking facebook. I mean lasting regret. The kind that makes you think “DAMN, why did I do that? Why didn’t I do X instead? I so could have avoided Y & Z”.

I think we need stop trying to always feel good about ourselves and occasionally let ourselves become vulnerable enough to admit our faults, to appreciate the pain we cause, and to truly remedy the situation if it isn’t too late. Apologies are nice, but how about avoiding actions/words that would require apologies in the first place? Doesn’t that sound like a good idea? But how can you ever achieve that if you don’t truly take time to appreciate the consequences of your wrongdoings? THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO REGRET.

Reason To Hate (03.07.12)

Ironic. Seems I started writing this about a year ago. It seems like there was not much progress in one  year. Not in the right direction anyway. 

March 7, 2012
We were in the middle of a pretty serious discussion and I was not very happy. Then the call dropped at the worst possible moment, time just right it could have been a hangup. I knew that his battery had just died. But being already upset, it’s as if I wanted there to be another explanation. It’s like I wanted to have a reason to call him a jerk and to hate him for hanging up on me. I quickly realized, as I discarded the message I was already starting to compose, that my reaction was silly. Obviously it was not his fault that his battery died. Right at once, little evil voices took up the bashing. “Why can’t he charge his battery properly?”. Silly questions that only make sense to someone trying to pick a fight. That’s exactly what I caught myself doing – picking a fight. And it made me wonder. How many times do we do that? How many times do our arguments escalate to the point where we are just arguing for the sake of arguing, where we will do or say anything to attack, where all we want is the other party to admit defeat and apologize. How many times have we let our annoyance explode into loathing then vengeance. This time I caught myself on time. There were times when I didn’t and I do feel bad when I think about them. Our emotions, our temper are so volatile.

Here again

I remember staying up late to write, furiously capturing memories while they are fresh. One day, I hoped, it could help me understand youth better. I remember staying up also because I wanted to listen to that song one more time. I remember believing in fate and “everything happens for a reason”. I remember hardly believing he was actually  flirting with me. I remember knowing it was doomed before it even started and still trying to go as far as I could. I was never one to leave stones unturned.  I am reminded that I’m now somewhere similar. Things will get better.  I will trust again some day. Maybe even faith. I just have to write my way through it. Another album or an anthology perhaps. 

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